Aging Parents and The "Only Child"

Can you say "only child" and "guilt"? Hmmm,
you're feeling guilty, aren't you?

My Mom passed away in May 2006. I'm still
guilty! And I worry. About everything. I used to
think I'd outgrow it. I'm still waiting. And I'm OLD!

Seems to me I had these same emotions when I
was 10 years old. That's when I knew. That I was
the one they were going to depend on "in their
old age".

We "only children" have it both good and bad.

There are no siblings to argue with over what should
be done for our parents and who is going to do it. Good!
There are no siblings to share the load and give you
a hug and emotional support we so desperately need
at this time. That's bad!
Then when we have to say the final "Goodbye", we
go home alone. If you have a partner or children of
your own, they become your lifeline.

If like me, you're divorced/no kids, you are alone.
This is why for the "only child", you must look for all
available help. Call every agency in your area and find
out what services are there for you and your aging parent.
You may be very surprised.

I waited too long. Thought I could do it all myself. But
as Mom became more feeble and unable to do things
for herself, it was heaven to have the help provided in
the community. Don't wait. Even if you don't need help
right now, at least check them out. They will guide you.
So when you both need outside assistance, it's there for you.

Here are two resources you may find right for you...

The CareGiver Community

Grieving Process: How Can Anyone Really Help?

Grieving...The hardest part of life's certainties.

If we live and love, we will grieve. Even if the
person we grieve for happens to die at 100, we
always wish for just one more good-bye.

Of course, the absolute worst grief comes when
a parent has to grieve their child. If the child is
stricken with a disease or dies in an accident, it's
horrendous enough. When a child is murdered...
how does anyone ever wrap their minds around that?

I've been fixated on the grieving process, especially
in these last few weeks. A 12 year old child from our
community was murdered. Even people who never
even met her are now in the grieving process.

If someone we know are grieving, how can we help?
How can we help ourselves? When my Mom passed
away, the most comfort to me was just to be hugged.

Or having a phone call, knowing someone cared enough
to let me talk my feelings out. No matter how much
time passes, those gestures are always remembered
by the person in grief.

But many find it hard to comfort someone. They don't
want to say or do the wrong thing. So they do nothing.

If you are at a loss of how to help someone who has
lost a loved one, please...just give them a long substantial
hug.

Being part of this community that is now reeling from
this child's murder, has caused me to look for some
sort of help.

"Is There Anything I Can Do?" is a beautifully written
guide to understanding what to do to help someone
you know and love through the grieving process.

If you'd like to take a look...
Click Here!

And remember, never turn away because you're afraid.
Open your arms and gather them to you. Our town is
doing a lot of that since February 14th....

Caregivers and Feeling Alone

The CareGiver Community

Being a caregiver can be a very lonely time.
Your friends may not even know what you're
going through or dealing with.

Sometimes we feel we should be able to handle
it all on our own. But, this can lead to depression.

As more and more people are becoming caregivers
because of the aging population, thankfully, there
are people out there who care enough to offer
help and "community".

The CareGiver Community

When I was my Mom's caregiver, I didn't know
about this wonderful, supportive site shown to
me by my dearest friend.

You'll want to visit this site if you are caring for
an aging parent, a child, a family member,
whomever!

If I could have my mother back and do it all
again, I wouldn't try to go it alone. I would make
use of all the help available. I would have been
happier and healthier. And I know it would have
been an added blessing to Mom.

Don't live with my regrets. It will be too late,
all too soon.

The CareGiver Community