Elder Care: And Then We Have To Say Goodbye...

It doesn't matter the age of a loved one when they die. It always hurts. And, for me, I'm finding time doesn't make it much easier. If anything, I miss Mom more now than when she died. Everyone said I was in shock then. Even though it was certainly expected.

As the anniversary approaches of the day she died, I find myself depressed. When most people are getting a healthy dose of spring fever, I'm ready to go back to hibernation. I know it will pass. At work, at least, nobody would know how I feel. I deal with the public so I have to be "on" at all times. Which helps.

Death sucks. No matter what the age. I can't believe it will be 5 years. It seems like 2 years at most. For those of us who believe in the afterlife, it's much easier. I don't know what I believe. Sometimes, I believe our loved ones are having a great old time "over there" and waiting to be reunited with us. At other times, I lose sight of those good thoughts.

What I do know is this. I've been at the bedside of several people getting ready to die. And everyone of them in the days and hours leading up to death were reaching out. Everyone of them. What did they see? Who were they reaching for? Was someone beckoning them? Letting them know they had love and support when they passed? Gosh, I sure want to believe in that.

I guess the only thing we can do is treat our loved ones who are still with us with love. And know that we've done our best while we had the ones with who have passed. Still...I wish I could go back and do it better...

I miss you, Mom. And I will see you again, someday...

Elder Care: The Importance Of Home Care For Everybody Involved With Aging Parents

Having home care for my mother was a godsend. For both of us. It gives the caregiver a chance to get errands done. It offers a respite for you to get away from your loved one. Which is good for both parties.

Nobody can and should be in each other's face every minute of the day. It replenishes the caregiver emotionally and physically.

For the care receiver, it's a chance to socialize with someone besides family members. My mom perked up when she knew her home care worker would be visiting. Having someone else get Mom in her bath saved my back!

Only you can visualize what the benefits to having home care would be. I urge you to call around your local area to see what's available. It can be paid or un-paid. But please look into this service. It took me awhile to get it all sorted out because I thought I had to do everything myself. Being the martyr does not work for anyone!

Happy Valentine's Day To All Caregivers And Their Aging Parents

The day of love is here. Valentine's Day is not just for romantic couples. It's for everyone who loves. Their parents, their spouses, their partners, their friends, siblings, pets, you name it!

Hopefully, we feel the love everyday. Not just on February 14. But as caregivers, I hope you look at this day as a respite. If you're feeling stressed from the demands of looking after your elderly parents, take a moment and count your blessings.

I know that sounds trite and cliche but it is true. My Mom and I exchanged cards all the time. My most treasured ones are the ones she handmade for me when she was unable to get out in the stores. I don't have to tell you how much those mean to me, do I? I wish she were here now for this Valentine's Day...

So take the day tomorrow and find the spot in your heart that holds the best memories and cherish them.

Happy Valentine's Day, my friends!